Monday, May 07, 2012

What about you?

My family and I were outside doing some yard work today.  It never fails, when I work outside my mind wanders to pass the time.  Here lately my mind keeps going back to the same topic.  I'm not going to share a lot of in depth information, but I will share enough to try and make an inspirational point at the end.  Hopefully someone out there will digest this and make some use of it.  Here goes...

It wasn't very long after high school I lost my father.  So I took every chance I could to surround myself with friends and family, and try not to feel down about my loss.  I really try to be an upbeat and happy-go-lucky kind of person.  I mourned and grieved like anyone else would who loses a close parent, but I also wanted to find a light to follow out of the darkness I felt I was embedded in.  I worked a regular schedule and tried to run a home.  In my free time I would find something to go out and do with my friends or family.  At the time I always had somewhere I could go, or something to do.So I would say I did a great job of occupying my time and staying busy to stay out of "the darkness".

What had started out as occupying my time seemed to take a slight twist which I loved.  I was the "Go To Person" for most of my family, and a few of my friends.  Anytime they needed something I was there.  If they needed a designated driver, I was there.  I was part of every family function, and never left out of anything.  I was the person that anyone could talk to in confidence, and could take a secret to the grave.  Everyone had my number, and I always answered.  I could go on for pages about the things I did or was, but I think you get the idea.

This went on for about 8 years or so.  That's a pretty good amount of time to be there for everyone.  That time seemed to honestly fly by because I loved doing it.  But now, let me introduce the dilemma.  I now have children of my own and a loving wife.  I feel that I have gone above and beyond in trying to include my new family in with my old family.  I have called, visited, met with, and anything else I could do to have my children know the rest of their family.  I feel like the family "I used to have" has no use for me now.  I have 2 friends that I actually talk to on a pretty regular basis.  I have family members that used to call me on a daily basis that haven't picked up the phone and called me in years.  I don't hold any grudges against them.  They all must have some sort of reason, whatever it may be.  But it does hurt that the closest people in your life seem to forget about you.

Now, hopefully it is time to pass on some motivation and inspiration.  I'm a grown man.  I can handle the situation I have been talking about.  I didn't write this for anyone's pity or sympathy.  I wrote this to make you think.  Is there anyone in your life that fit my description above?  Do you think you are one of the people I was talking about?  Who's that person you used to hang out with, but seemed to of lost touch with? Do you have any idea how it might just make that persons day to get a call or a letter, an email, text message, something that makes them feel remembered?  What if you tried to rekindle the relationship you once had?

My overall point is try not to become so self-absorbed that you forget about, not just the ones you love, but quite possibly the ones that truly love you back.  And just in case someone I was actually writing about reads this, I still love you like I used to.  I just hate it ended so soon.

And remember, do something nice for someone else.  Pay It Forward.


  1. I know the feeling (minus the loss of the parent) all to well man. I'm glad to see that you can see that you don't dwell on the negatives, it's harder than some people know.

  2. Thanks Eric. Unfortunately too many people know that feeling.


Please play nice, young folks may read this. If you have criticism, please make it constructive. Thanks!