Thursday, September 05, 2013

How to pick the right guy for your Daughter.

This post is for all the Dads out there that are active participants in their Daughter's life.  The title may seem a little misleading but after you read this you will see the total truth of it.  So, in a free nation, how can you decide who is going to be the right guy to be with your Daughter?  Well, it's a little give and take, but you're not really picking the guy, you are influencing your daughter to make a better choice for herself.  That may seem a little vague so I'll explain it a little further.

My life experience has been that women that have an active male figure in their life, whether good or bad use that person when seeking out a partner.  If she has a good relationship with her father/male figure then more than likely she will base her decision of partner against him.  If that partner measures up or has similar properties, then there is a greater chance that she will pursue that partner.  This isn't ALWAYS the case, and I want to make it clear this isn't an *end-all* guide to make your Daughter marry Prince Charming.  

Here's a little food for thought.  Let's say that you are a pretty good Dad. You eat together, play at the park a few times a year, and watch TV together.  You probably have a good bond with your Daughter.  Now, drop the idea of having a "man-card" and try to find out something that truly interests her.  Mine like cooking and crafts.  If you can swallow your man-pride long enough to learn a few crafts that you can sit with her and talk about while doing them, you just increased your bond even further.  She will more than likely see that the guy who was already Superman in her eyes, drop his shield and go the extra step to be involved with her.  I have taken on many different crafting styles and will involve my girls when I can.  And if they say something out in public I don't cower down because it's something "girly".  I can stand by her and take pride in the fact that she's proud of what I've done.  If they ever ask why I do things that other men can't or won't do, I plan on telling them this: "Men can Bar-B-Que, work on cars, fix things around the house, mow the yard and work in the garden.  REAL men can do anything.".  Anytime I can do something that will make my girls want to tell the world, I know I am doing my job and making them proud, and that gives me the greatest feeling in the world.

Learning how to sew, crochet, or even cook so you can pass that along to your own girls isn't cashing in your *Man-Card*.  Your just ensuring that the guy who wants her later has an *Upgraded Man-Card* that compares to yours.  And that Sir, is how you pick the right guy for your Daughter.Don't tell her who to pick, set the bar so high that only the right ones can meet her expectations.

What to take away from this:
Don't be ashamed to learn something new.  Moms aren't the only ones who can teach their girls.  Teaching should be a dual-parent responsibility.  This won't apply to everyone, but it should apply to the majority, take it for what it's worth.

And as always be sure to do something for someone other than yourself.  Pay It Forward.